Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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