im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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