You work out of a Hotel?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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