I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
