if only i could text you this smell
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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