Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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