please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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