i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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