Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
