You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
