I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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