Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
