My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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