im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
