The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
My brain says no but my pants say off.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
