I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
