You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
