if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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