One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
