I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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