Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
