Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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