I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize