woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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