just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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