so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
