no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Randomize
