she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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