Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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