Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
