mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
