You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
