I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
