I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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