similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
