a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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