You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
should my penis look like a turkey
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
