I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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