that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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