Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
