none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
