I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
