I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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