Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
