I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
