We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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