You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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