I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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