I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
