just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
