make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
FUCK WHALES
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
