ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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