how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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