i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize