Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
oh god the rape fog is back!
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
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