found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize