well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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