I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
