so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
