the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
