So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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