All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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