Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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