so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
