Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
