First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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