Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
