turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
