You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
