At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just want nice things and good sex
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
