I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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