Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
